wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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