there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
