If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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