They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
