He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
