When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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