My hand turned me down
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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