why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
