Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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