fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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