The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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