4 words: hood of his car
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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