porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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