Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
