reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
