now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
