The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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