Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize