either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Drunk walkin through police station. America
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
