Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
