Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
