I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
