Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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