and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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