I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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