Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
