no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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