i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
