Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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