I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
