Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
