So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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