Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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