someone get that fucking seahorse.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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