2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
