i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's rum buckets o'clock
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
