please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
