She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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