hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
