like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just pee around me
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
