Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
