apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
