Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
