He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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