I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
