You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
