Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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