Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
