as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
it's like iHOP with fire
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
