Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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